For the first time, in a long time

Hi everyone, and welcome to my first post here.

Today is April 11, 2025. This is something I am starting purely for myself, first and foremost – but in the sense that I feel an immense urge to reach out to you, to reach out to humanity, which is in itself a bit of a surprising wish, at least to myself. I want to connect again with people, I want specifically to share a portion of experience which I think is both universal and very specific, and thus hopefully transcendental in the sense that it has the potential to reach you out there, go beyond the limits of my own thoughts, and connect us all with something that is our shared, very human, common but nonetheless wondrous and horrifying portion of many of our lives.

I would like to better understand how we deal with certain forms of loss, and continue our journeys on our paths despite or maybe even because of it. Mine has come recently in something of a trifecta: loss of love, of a certain set of beliefs I have always held to be true, and, for a while, I am confident to say that I have lost my mind over it, in the sense that things seem misplaced, not where or how I expect them to be, regarding my position in life and my access or my lack of access to wells of healing that have almost never failed me before. Today is the first day in a very long while that I know that I am getting better. So now I can begin my journey with you, and one day, maybe, my conversation with you (which for now I have to keep one-sided, but know that my thoughts are very much with you and wondering how you feel while you stumble across this). Maybe you can view these words, for now, as something like constellations which are out there and which you can very much perceive, and muse upon. And while for now you cannot enter a dialogue with them, they are still trying to send out some rays of light to you. Not to guide you, or help you – I am not in any way qualified to do anything of the sort. But to reach out to you, tell you, see me, I am here, I am human just like you, and I have been in pain for a long while, just like you perhaps are or have been, and may well be again, some day. Maybe I am thinking of constellations because I love that they come with stories, and that we may always very literally wish upon a star, and because from our perception they seem rather eternal, something to rely upon...however.

I will suck at this, first, probably.

But I will practice, and get better, so bear with me, be patient.

The website will grow as well, from this early rather bare sapling, to something like a banyan.

When we begin sharing our stories, we are at one of the most vulnerable points in our lives. And while you may think that you have had enough of other people’s sharing after the first heady decades of what the internet and social media have become, a seemingly endless drone of self-reference, self-confirmation, and ongoing reinvention of personae, I think you may still be in for surprises, as am I.

There are many, many obvious quotes one could make at this point. I want to stick with a much-referenced, and dare I say well-loved, simple one, which I like because it also presumes your good intentions and well-wishes (we share responsibility here as to how we treat this exchange from here on out):

Say, “friend”, and enter.

(And I promise that these mines of my musings are neither altogether dark, nor endless, and that while I was lost and maybe still am, and wandering through my own thoughts, I do not intend to stay lost.)

As always, Mia.